It’s 2023 and we’ve accomplished many things: peat-free plug plants for sale in petrol stations, dandelions at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show, and petitions against the sale of non-organic pesticides to the public. And yet, sourcing affordable and inoffensive garden furniture still remains a profound challenge.
My humble kingdom for a small, chic table for the gravel garden
This has long been a bugbear and sometime business pipe dream of mine, often swiftly snuffed out, for I am neither a businesswoman nor a furniture designer. My humble kingdom for a small, chic table for the gravel garden. Back in May, when summer turned up for a few weeks, I was emboldened by a cocktail and constructed something out of an old chimney pot and a marble slab. Four months later and it’s still in place; I’m yet to better it with actual furniture.
I’m conscious I’m being a grouch, but I’ve been on this hunt for about a decade now.
The offerings are bizarrely limited to cuboids made of rattan, or its plastic equivalent; jumbo teak dining sets made, presumably, for gardens with sheds large enough to store them for nine months of the year, or people happy to leave them out and treat them annually; and the go-to among urban gardens: the Hay Palissade set, a minimalist Scandi effort the colour of an olive and somewhat lacking in lumbar support. All cost between £1,000 and £2,000.
For those of us who would rather put that money towards going on holiday and actually sitting somewhere warm, the options are perhaps even more limited: flimsy metal bistro sets, lightweight armchairs that are unlikely to survive winter’s rages, and oceans of plastic.
I got all of the Victorian chimney pots in my garden from a front garden in Croydon for £60
I’m conscious I’m being a grouch, but I’ve been on this hunt for about a decade now. Garden furniture is especially challenging because it either needs to look good and stay put long after the autumn equinox, or be clever enough to be tucked away somewhere. This summer I indulged in a flat-pack metal table from La Redoute, which remains in several parts after a marital argument about a missing bolt. We make do with hand-me-down Ikea chairs painted black and some folding, slotted deckchairs, which spend a lot of time living in the cupboard under the stairs.
In the spirit of being a solutions-rather-than-a-problems person, looking for second-hand is a satisfying bet. Facebook Marketplace, Gumtree and Nextdoor.com are awash with people’s old tables and chairs, and wooden furniture can scrub up nicely with sanding and painting. I spray-painted a metal Ikea table with a couple cans of Rust-Oleum and was amazed at the results.
Indoor furniture often has better proportions and design features than that destined for the garden.
I enjoy a bit of patina in a garden. A little spot of rust here, some peeling paint there – objects that look like they’ve lived a life before they entered yours will blend more beautifully with the creeping stem of a clematis or rose. They’ll also take on their own magnitude when the garden dies down over winter.
You might get lucky on the neighbourhood resale websites – I got all of the Victorian chimney pots in my garden from a front garden in Croydon for £60 – but reclaim centres, antiques specialists and markets can come up with the goods. Before you go browsing, measure up and know the limits of size for what you’re after, including the size of your door frames to get it into the garden.
As we cruise into autumn, now is a good time to buy
Go with an open mind, too: metal, marble and plastic vintage indoor furniture can all be used outside. An old wash-stand, a sewing machine base, a 1960s egg chair: these will stand up to rain and sleet as well as the modern stuff made of the same material. Indoor furniture often has better proportions and design features than that destined for the garden.
And as we cruise into autumn, now is a good time to buy; people aren’t madly looking for it, and you might get a bargain. Just think about how smug you’ll feel next spring.
Don't miss our round up of the best garden furniture to buy